You’ll like this – and maybe even get goosebumps! A TED talk by a guy from our backyard school, Stanford, on our favorite topic – increasing the services and resources for those impacted by suicide. Check it out and let us know what you think …
BREAK THROUGH THE STATIC
Surviving Suicide. Rebuilding Lives.
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An idea worth spreading …
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A Spencer Reflection
Well, my time here seems to be up. It’s been a great three months. I have learned and grown a lot and have seen the organization do the same. I’ve spent my semester here doing a myriad of tasks. I’ve taken some photos at various events and I’ve done a lot of research into the San Francisco Bay Area and its response to suicide. All of the work I have done has been very rewarding. Much of my time was spent simply being a sounding board for Jade and helped to process ideas for various elements of the organization from programs to fundraising. Many great days were spent in car rides going back and forth from San Francisco to Palo Alto, listening to jams while we processed what we were going to do or had just done.When I came on, I knew very little about suicide and suicidology, but after hearing so many powerful stories at various events and working alongside Jade, I now have a heart and a passion for this issue. The experiences I have had these past few months will always stay with me and I will never forget; I am so grateful to have had this opportunity. It is sad to be leaving at such a pivotal moment, but alas all good things must come to an end. I am very excited for where Static will go from here and to see the good work that we do come to life.
-Spencer
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A Jenny Reflection
I cannot believe that the past three months have flown by so quickly! My second term as an intern for Break Through the Static has been absolutely wonderful and enriching. This summer’s vibe was completely different than that of my winter internship because Static is now in full swing!
When I first joined Team Static, the bulk of my time was spent doing research on suicide bereavement and figuring out the type of image and language Static needed to project and use. My time was divided between Palo Alto, where I met with Taryn to discuss curriculum and San Francisco, where I met with Jade to organize contacts and research possible grant opportunities.
This summer, I have spent the bulk of my time working in San Francisco. No longer a group of individuals stoked for Jade’s organization, volunteering their time when possible. Now Team Static is a cohesive, growing team of individuals solely dedicated to creating Jade’s dream of a caring and compassionate community for teens bereaved by suicide.
The community Team Static has created throughout this summer is the type of community I envision for the teens part of Break Through the Static in the future. Our team is completely open with each other, one moment giggling about something totally random, the next discussing the stresses in our lives. Whitney with her spunky blonde hair and quiet, yet attentive nature, Jade with her bubbly, open self and Jarrod with his insighful, awesome hipster-ness.
The coming year will be just as dynamic as this past one, with the involvement of teens themselves, and I am so excited to see Static grow and become an integral part of the lives of those who have lost a loved one to suicide.
-Jenny
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Community Building
This summer saw the start of Break Through the Static’s very first Teen Advisory Board (TAB). For those of you who don’t know, Team Static created TAB to get insight from teens about what they think is fun, appealing and helpful. We’re preparing to host support groups this fall, and our team doesn’t know everything that is cool with teenagers these days. So we thought, “Why not ask them?!” Over 4 weeks this summer we had conversations and gained wisdom from TAB members about website design, language, marketing, community building, support groups and more. We are so thankful for the honesty and openness of the TAB members and their willingness to share their stories with us.
I had the privilege of being a part of the community building week of TAB and had so much fun getting to know the teens and spending time with them. To me, building community is not something to be taken lightly. It takes planning, skill, listening, enthusiasm and patience. On the surface, much of what we did that week looked like fun and games. Don’t get me wrong, it was a ton of fun! I mean, who doesn’t like playing with toilet paper and trying to untangle yourself from a knot of arms?
On a deeper level, building community is essential to creating an environment where teens feel safe and comfortable. Trust does not appear upon a first interaction but hopefully, with shared experiences, it can be built into a caring community. This is the goal of Break Through the Static. To create a caring community of teens who have lost a loved one to suicide.
I am honored to be a part of Break Through the Static and cannot wait to start community building with some amazing teens this Fall. I’ve got a ton of games in my repertoire pre-approved for coolness by Teen Advisory Board members themselves! Get ready for some fun everyone!
-Whitney
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Static Staff Retreat
As you may know, Break Through the Static is gearing up to run fall support groups for high schoolers who’ve lost a loved one to suicide. In order to provide teens with great groups and retreats, our team needs to trust and support each other, and be transparent with one another so we’re a tight-knit team that leads by example. Community is not only important for the teens we’ll serve. It’s important for our staff, and for us all.
So what did we do to build our team community? Team Static went on a staff retreat to the Gualala River Redwood Park for two days of camping, kayaking, Pocahontas songs, and team-building! Have a couple laughs and get to know us a bit more by checking out our retreat recap video.
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Hope
Hope. A feeling of positivity for the future and the expectation that good things are to come. I am no stranger to the feeling of hope.
As I sit here writing this blog entry in a coffee shop, I am filled with hope as I see old friends greet each other with hugs and hear exciting conversations about accomplishments and plans for the future. I sit next to Jade with the aroma of her latte still fresh in the air and I am thankful for the community I have here in this new place called San Francisco I consider home. I believe in this place and have great hope for my future here. It’s times like these when I wonder how I ever questioned hope’s existence, but I did.
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A 19 year old woman sits in pain, confusion, numbness and more pain. Months have passed and these feelings somehow have crept into her life and have become the overwhelming themes of her every day. The only person in her life to notice her pain is her mother, who reaches out with a card and a stone sent to her college mailbox. The word “HOPE” is written on one side of the stone. On the other side is a dove. The 19 year old carries the stone with her, hoping the word will rub off on her thoughts, on her days, on her life. Hoping she will feel happiness and hope again.
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That stone with the message of hope served as a wake-up call for me. On a particularly difficult and almost life-ending day a small gift from my mother changed my outlook and spoke to me in my deepest, darkest places filled with hopelessness and emptiness. The stone gave me hope. It opened my eyes to the community around me who was hungry to help. I slowly began to allow them in to care for me. Family, friends and a professional community gave me hope for the future with the promise that things will get better.
It wasn’t and still isn’t always easy to reach out when I need help, but now I know it’s so important to let people walk through life with me. I encourage you to do the same; allow others to support and care for you.
Hope is found in community. There is hope for the future.
-Whitney
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Something good is coming …
This blog entry was inspired by a conversation I had with my Grandad last night. He told me every night he says a prayer thanking God that something good is coming from his son’s death. I am writing this entry in honor of my Grandad and all the other fathers who have lost their children to suicide. – Jade
My Dad unknowingly gave his life for a purpose – so I could suffer, hurt and come to realize there was no organization in place connecting and caring for teens who had lost a loved one to suicide, and consequently feel compelled to help teens like myself. Because my Dad died by suicide, teens will get the help they need.
I imagine a world where teens won’t be defined by the loss they’ve suffered but by how they helped others like them reach their potential. I imagine a world where a sixteen year-old boy who lost his girlfriend to suicide two years earlier snowboards and shares stories with a fourteen year-old boy who just lost his best friend. I imagine a world where an adult woman who lost her husband leads a local support group for high schoolers who’ve lost people they love, and finds great peace and redemption in giving back. Break Through the Static believes in this world and we have dedicated our lives to make our vision a reality.
Something good is coming out of my Dad taking his own life, my friends. And today I am thankful for the sacrifice my Dad made. Unknowingly, he gave himself to our world, to our lost and grieving youth, so they can get the care they need. Redemption will come when one life, just one life, is saved by my Dad’s sacrifice and the good that has come.
As always, with great hope for the future of our youth,
Jade
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10.5 hours til 9 years
This will be short and un-eloquent. This is a response to how a girl is feeling who lost her daddy.
It’s 4:30 p.m. on July 10th, 2010. That’s pretty insignificant to most people. But to me, that means in 10.5 hours it will be nine years since my Daddy took his own life.
This past year, the 8th year I’ve lived without him, has been one of my most challenging, and one of my best. This past year I’ve taken my pain and sadness and turned it into determination. Determination to create something that is SO needed in our world – a community for teens who’ve lost their daddies, their girlfriends, their brothers, their friends. This is the year I decided to take all the horribleness, tears, confusion and family problems and channel it into helping others like me. This is the year I decided to go back to therapy and get the help I needed. This is the year I decided I cannot live on my own, and I too need community and support. As independent and ambitious as I am, I still need people.
You do too.
At 3 a.m. PST tomorrow morning, on July 11th, 2010, please celebrate with me all the beauty and goodness that has come from a daddy taking his own life. If my dad had not made such a horrible, selfish decision, I would not be aware of the huge, desperate need that exists for teen suicide survivors – they need a community they can go to for support. And I am creating an organization to fill that need.
I will be setting my alarm for 3 a.m. PST. I will wake up and celebrate my father’s life, acknowledge the decision he made, the pain it has caused, and the beauty that’s come of it – Break Through the Static. If you find yourself awake at this time, please join me in celebration.
Thank you for your support, your love, your wishes, your dollars and your prayers. Break Through the Static is gonna be around a looooong time my friends, and we wouldn’t be able to do it without you.
With great love and thanks,
Jade Ashley Chamness
Founder + CEO | Break Through the Static
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The Shadow Proves the Sunshine
I’m a fan of tattoos.
I know not everyone holds the same feelings of appreciation for them but I have grown to love them in my short 23 years of life. To me, they represent a story. Always a story. Sometimes the stories are of spur of the moment decision and regrets. Sometimes they are of a love for someone or something held dear. No matter the tattoo, there is a story attached and an opportunity for conversation and a chance at community, if only a taste. One of my tattoos comes from the idea that there is hope even in the worst of times.
The song “The Shadow Proves the Sunshine” by Switchfoot was the inspiration behind this piece. The title alone sums it up nicely. It’s the idea that without darkness or shadows, we would not know or appreciate light or sunshine. Without hardships and pain, how will we know what happiness is? What would we have to compare it to? The shadow proves the sunshine. The pain proves there is hope, happiness and better times in the future. I have gotten lost in pain and felt there was no hope or sunshine for me. It’s a dark and lonely place but I found it made me appreciate pure joy and the good in my life that much more. Community helped me find the sunshine through the shadows. This tattoo is a reminder to myself and a story to share with others. The pain from my past is no longer hidden in the shadows but is displayed on my arm proving the sunshine.
Listen: The Shadow Proves the Sunshine – Switchfoot
Whitney
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A Teenager’s Story
This is a real life story. And like life, it is filled with both tragedy and joy. This is not a tragic story, although this story involves a tragedy. This is a story of hope and redemption.
She was a teenager with a beautiful, simple life.
She had a mom, a dad and a little sister with big brown eyes. Her dad would come home every night at five fifteen and the teenager and her little sister would climb onto the kitchen counter. Her dad would open the fridge door and get out the block of cheddar – the very block her mother lovingly tried to keep from her father “because it’s for lunchtime sandwiches.” He would slice the cheese from the block without a cutting board, rather on the Ziploc bag that kept the cheese from drying out in the fridge. The teenager liked watching her father slice his pieces extra thick, then eat slice after slice until inevitably her mother came over and kissed him too long while the cheese was still in his mouth. Then she would return the cheese to its Ziploc bag and tell the girls to head back to their rooms to finish up their homework.
And everything was perfect and there was lots of joy.
Until one day the father lied to the teenager. She was asleep in her bed when her mother and her father came in to kiss her goodbye; they were off to a houseboat trip with friends and the teenager was going on a high-school trip. She laid in bed refusing to open her eyes, too tired to say goodbye. Her mother and her father kissed her. That was fine. But then the father said, “I’ll see you when you get back from your trip.” That was the lie.
Three mornings later, a youth leader on the trip told the teenager to call home immediately. She figured her dog Boo Boo had died or something. She figured something sad had happened, but just something normal sad. She called and her father’s father, Grandad, answered. He sounded really sad and tremendously exhausted. She had never heard him in such a state and wanted it to stop. The teenager was leaning against the fake wood wall with the corded phone smashed against her face when her beautiful, simple life fell apart.
The teenager’s father had lied to her.
“I love you. You are my princess and I love you so so much,” said her Grandad. Then he spoke the unavoidable words: “your father took his own life.” The teenager didn’t understand. Her father had died by suicide. And she would never understand.
She flew home and suddenly she wasn’t just a teenager anymore. She had to do dreadful grown-up things like call her father’s friends to tell them he had killed himself and request they come to his funeral. She also held her mother, force-feeding her when her skin was grey and she was too weak to walk. She didn’t like doing grown-up things; her roles were confused now. All she wanted to be was that teenager living with her father and for him to take his lie away. She wanted her life to be beautiful and simple again.
Over the weeks and months and years following her father’s suicide the teenager searched for a place where she could be around others affected by suicide; to know others who would understand how much she missed that beautiful, simple life. Eight years passed and that teenager came to realize there were no organizations for teenagers just like her. So she created the place she had been searching for and started Break Through the Static.
Now that teenager is in her twenties and she LOVES her role as Founder & CEO of Break Through the Static. With the support of her incredible, passionate team, she is eagerly planning support groups, retreats and camps for high schoolers. Break Through the Static will be a place where teenagers can be themselves, heal and grow after the life-changing death of a loved one to suicide. She has come to accept that while life may not always be beautiful or simple, it can be rebuilt with the help of a community like Break Through the Static.
